Thursday, September 30, 2010

Kitchen Karma

What goes around, comes around : Few things most women would like to tell you about their Kitchen -

Do Not Enter (unless asked)
This space belongs primarily to the lady of the house and the domestic help. You are most welcome to come in and look around. But if you wish to grab a ladle, you'd either be a good cook or have been given due permission to do so. If you are a guest, your place is everywhere but the kitchen. We don't want you to see the last minute mess. It is only for us to see and the maid to clean.

Return the Utensils fast
If we like you and wish to send over yummy food to your place, make sure you return the utensils fast. They are not takeout containers. They doggy bags in the corner of your shelf need to come back home. Empty or filled, we don't care. Just send them back at the earliest. Especially the tupperware boxes.

Remove your shoes
Please remove your shoes before entering. This place is sacred. Most of us will also have our prayer rooms in a corner somewhere around.

Socialising is best left to the Living Room
You don't have to follow and come with us if we are just going to check upon the microwave before setting the table for dinner. Your guilt of 'not helping out' cannot be countered by you walking along with us into the kitchen. Sit in the living room, enjoy the snacks, we will be back out soon. (This applies to all women guests who have a habit of walking into the kitchen to have a conversation with hostess and refuse to step out).

Stacked plates are the best
This is for those who insist on carrying their plate, glass and cutlery to the sink after the meal. Please don't! First of all, you are a guest. And secondly, it is much easier to stack up the plates together, put all used cutlery in one glass, collect fish-bones in one quarter plate and roll all table mats into one bundle than the mess that will be created if you go one by one and crowd the sink. Trust me, you are only making us work twice coz we will have to do it again.

Do it in yours, not mine
If you make nice coffee or prepare better butter chicken, please do so in your kitchen and call us for lunch. Offering to cook is one thing, hijacking someone's kitchen is another. Not appreciated at all. Especially when you stand there asking the host, 'can I get some salt, can I get some pepper, can I get some sugar, can I get a ladle, can I get a pan' etc. etc. It is irritating.

Don't move anything
If you are here to stay for some days, know where everything is. Don't move things. Ask if you don't find it in an overview. Most articles are kept together as per usage - daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.

Fridge is a part of the Kitchen
Wherever it may be kept, the fridge is a part of the Kitchen. Do not open freely except for water and ice. If you need to use something, please ask. Things are stocked as per some math. Know the math. There is a reason why there are two containers of curd , six slices of cheese or spices in the freezer.

Don't dirty, don't clean
Try to avoid dirtying the kitchen. If you have unknowingly done so, then please don't clean it. Nothing is more embarrassing to a host than a guest cleaning up his/her house. Offer to clean, even reach out for the duster but if the host stops you, please leave the mess.

Don't judge
Everyone makes mistakes. Even the best ones. If someday you smell burnt rice or milk from you neighbours, don't go snooping 'Oh what happened'???

Don't compare

"My microwave reheats food it in less than a minute", "Our RO system refills itself in 40 minutes", "Our fridge makes ice before your's", "I have a two tier 4 burner gas, why don't you switch over to the same", "I never wash cut vegetables" etc. You might want to give such smart indicators and suggestions. Ummm... they might work at times but mostly they remind us of our limitations.

If you are family
You are most welcome in the kitchen. Do what you want. Cook, bake, clean, cut, wipe...whatever. But know this for sure - we decide the menu for the day and the domestic help takes orders only from us!


  1. :D :D That's a very good observation!And funnily written! And scared now! :)

  2. अगं, मग मी दिल्लीला आले कि तुला मदत करू कि नको करू?? :)

  3. these are pointers for people who don't know each other well...we know each other :)

    will I ever dare put an ulta zhakan on your milk tapela ;)???? Neverrr!!!

  4. Will be followed with immediate effect ;)

  5. ha ha ha :) aisi baat nahi hai Shriraj...but this is what is going on in the minds of most of the women and they will never tell you :)

  6. You seem to be such a nice host .. not expecting guests to share your workload :-)

  7. :) I just don't want them to double it up for me

  8. I just added your website on my blogroll. I may come back later on to check out updates. Excellent information!

  9. This is such an old glad you chanced upon it :) thanks :)

  10. hilarious!! but damn bang on..i also fall in few categories there. if i come to delhi not helping you at all. wish i cn post some rules fr my husband too

  11. Tu dilli aa to smita...tujhe baakayada kitchen mein bula ke sabzi katwaoongi :)


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